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Mustering my strength November 20, 2007

Posted by emsgeiss in parenting & family.
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The last 24 hours or so have been interesting to say the least. My little guy fell down the stairs, and at 21 months sustained a fracture to his left humerus (upper arm bone) about a third of the way between the elbow and the shoulder. So as my husband and I attend to our little one, who now has a brand-spanking new blue cast, I’m mustering my strength.

  • I’m mustering my strength to not beat myself up for not being able to prevent it.
  • I’m mustering my strength to not burst into tears every time someone says, “It’s not your fault, these things happen.”
  • I’m mustering my strength to not burst into tears every time he winces in pain, even through the pain meds or when he accidentally leans on the cast the wrong way, forgetting that his motion is limited.
  • I’m mustering my strength to not call the E.R. and b*tch out the people there for:
    1. Not splinting it at the very least
    2. Their overall attitude. Sure we’re just one case of thousands they get every week. And while I realize he was the center of attention for us, there were more severe, life-threatening cases for them that took precedence. I get that. But the lack of empathy was strange…almost foreboding. Here we are, relatively new parents, in a brand new and scary situation, and it was as if this was something normal. I’m not sure what I expected from them (the x-ray staff was great though), but we didn’t get it.
  • I’m mustering my strength to intellectually process that this is the first of many more hurts that will come over the years, that Mama will not be able to fix.
  • I’m mustering the strength to just be strong for my little guy. Strength that I will have to build and store in reserve, as over the years, I will have to draw from it to get through the woes of parenting like these.

Copyright © 2007 Erika-Marie S. Geiss

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